War on the Left 'Cep

Recently, I noticed that my right bicep was getting far more swo and veiny than my left. I tried to compensate, but the leftie was still being difficult. I realized it wasn't enough to just up my reps on the left, I had to up the game, and anthro-swo-morphize (on that swocabulary tip) the 'cep to get the real progress I needed.

Let's discuss some tactics:

1) Good Cop / Bad Cop: You may have heard of muscle confusion. Nothing breaks down a muscle like giving it different workouts and keeping it on its toes. So, at any given moment, I'll admire and caress leftie ala Swomeo and Juli'cep. Then, in a eel-like shocking about face, I'll lay on verbal attacks harder than the assault on swomaha beach. After some of this back and forth, the sheer psych-swo-logical damage to the 'cep might as well count as a six-set iso-curl workout.

2) Comparisons to the FAF: Sometimes, the only way to truly swotivate the left 'cep is to compare to the lowest of the low, the unswo-est of the unswo: The FAFest of the FAF. I tell the 'cep: "keep it up and you'll end up like this regrettabo'. I tell the 'cep to just give up, and take a trip to get some Fro-Unswo-Yo, because you know what left 'cep, it's just been like, such a long day. Don't worry about the extra sour cream, extra cheese, and extra guac' on the 'potle, because your boss was totally rude to you today. It's cool. Meanwhile the right 'cep is busy crushing kale shakes and putting in reps, but hopefully Chad will love you for your inner beauty. "Do you, little wiz-cep."

3) Beware the Na-swolean complex: Some individuals have a problem being short, and make it up for by being loud, swoverconfident and trying to swow-off. When it comes to the left 'cep, my boy always wants to do more reps, but sometimes tries to overcompensate by relying on the already swo back, forearm and shoulder muscles. Not on my watch, little wiz. The best way to show you're a man is to peep the right 'cep, and just put in hard work. No need for swoverkill.

To all the fans, first, thanks, and if you know other great ways to motivate a 'cep from an inferiority complex to a swoperiority state of veiny, please let me know.